Portfolio CV

Caught first fish — stuck to the line, not the hook.

Made first clay pot.

First girlfriend, kiss on the cheek. Her name was Karen, but she was no Karen

Won first art competition for underwater scene. Next day, won again.

Skipped over 50 days of school, failed the year. Allowed to continue on promise to attend and study.

Made it! Matriculated with university clearance.

Two-year gap year adventure alone.

Ate from trash cans behind Marks & Spencer.

Joined a Christian cult, started studying.

Became "smart."

Kicked out of Christian cult.

First proper kiss.

Graduated in Theology (Honours), returned to Africa.

First French kiss and first touch of boobs — pastor's daughter I'd liked since age 15. HA!

Preached to thousands, delivered food aid to orphanages. Faced Mugabe's soldiers, almost stampeded by elephants. Money stolen, hitchhiked back to South Africa in a truck full of illegals.

Caught first bigmouth bass at family pond — three generations, same lake.

Studied thick oil painting techniques with Nicholas Prinsloo, moved toward abstraction.

Lost most of investment money (fuck that thief), started life over (again).

Ate mulberries from a friend's tree for food.

Decided to change my fate.

Worked full-time in debt collection.

Moved three months before COVID began.

Began Black Swan painting series.